I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is Oprah even human
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize