this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
