Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
