I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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