saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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