Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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