just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
