Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I know her cup size but not her name....
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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