I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Rumble strips road head = magical
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
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