I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There's a naked man in my car right now.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
