so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
