She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
