We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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