Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
