There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
