so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
