We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
