I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it