its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
