I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize