I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
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we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
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It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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