That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize