You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
did i walk over a car last night?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
