It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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