talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
