I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
