i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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