i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just blew my weed a kiss
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
