Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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