I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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