if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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