Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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