I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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