how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
