she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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