ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
