Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
