your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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