You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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