How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
