im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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