I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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