I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize