Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
