Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
