I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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