just tell him i said nine months
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
