And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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