i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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