Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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