I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize