Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
