I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
