I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have aggressive nipples.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
