bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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