she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize