If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
