yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
