I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
