Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
worst night to have a conscience
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
