return my video game
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
