I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
