why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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