New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
